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by Rini1031
Summary: Love and lies, hope and pain, Danny and Mac. Slash, fluff, first time,


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CSI: NY

Danny/Mac

FRT/PG-13

Love, lies, hope, pain, Danny and Mac. Slash, fluff, first time

I don't own CSI: New York or any of it's characters

Dedicated to Kuroi Neko-kun for her inspiration and encouragement. Thank you so much, this one is just for you.

* * *

He sighed and stared at the drink in his hand as if the clear solution held the answers to all the mysteries of the universe. Now, logically, Danny knew that a simple glass of vodka held nothing but alcohol, but right now Danny didn't care about logic because caring about logic would force his brain to remember why he had sought out a bar in the first place. The people in the bar had all come to forget something, or someone, at least until life beaconed them outside of this haven. Danny was no different then any of the others. He had come here to forget.

Tossing aside the thoughts of the outside world Danny put the glass up to his lips and drowned the rest of his, half full, drink. The vodka burned his throat and, for just a moment, Danny pretended that the burn had been what caused the tears that gathered in his eyes. He held them back, he'd seen plenty a man crying in to a glass of alcohol; he'd sworn that he would never be one of their numbers.

Danny shifted in his seat, which creaked obnoxiously at the deviation, and pulled three dollars out of his pocket. When he'd caught the bartender (a cute woman with a bright smile)'s attention, Danny raised his glass, a silent signal for a refill. He placed both the money and the empty glass on the bar and relaxed back into his seat.

"Cancel that miss." A scratchy, baritone voice called. "I think he's had enough for one night."

"Mac? What are you doin' here?" A surprised, and rather upset, Danny demanded of his boss.

"Looking for you. Stella mentioned that you've seemed upset recently. She suggested that you might need to talk to someone so I volunteered to find you. Come on, I drive you home and we can talk."

Mac stood up from the stool that he'd temporarily borrowed and held out a hand to help Danny up. His body language clearly indicated that there would be no room for argument. Danny sighed heavily and allowed Mac to assist him, resigning himself to wherever fate might dictate.

Danny was not drunk. He was far from drunk. To be drunk is to lose control, to let alcohol rule your mind. Danny would never allow himself to completely loose control. He was considerably more pliable and much less observant. If he had not had those two drinks however he might have noticed that instead of taking Danny to his apartment, like he'd said; Mac had taken Danny back to his home with him.

* * *

Mac parked his car in the designated spot and turned toward his unwilling passenger, who had been curiously quiet throughout the entire trip. Mac didn't know wether to be more worried or amused at the sight. Danny was asleep, and while he looked adorable and innocent (the later of which Danny was most defiantly not) Mac began to wonder just how much sleep his beloved CSI had gotten in the past month. Thinking back, Mac could remember a dozen incidences where Danny had obviously not gotten enough sleep. Mac silently chided himself for not catching on to the problem sooner. 

"Danny." No response. Mac tried again, louder this time. "Danny, you need to wake up now."

"Wha-Mac? What are ya' doin' here? What am I doin' here? Where is here any'way?"

Mac had to chuckle at Danny expression. He was still half asleep, glasses askew an his face, and his hair was ruffled every way imaginable. Gently, so as not to startle him, Mac leaned over and first straightened Danny's glasses before he attempted to smoothed down the younger man's golden tresses.

"Mac?" Danny asked, still unsure of what he'd missed.

"You fell asleep and I decided to bring you back to my place. We need to talk Danny."

"I'm in trouble, aren't I"

"No, of course not Danny, why would you say that?"

"Only time you've ever 'talked' to me is when I was in trouble."

Danny had a point. Mac had to admit, lately he'd been avoiding the younger man that he cared so much about. When Stella had asked if anything was wrong between them he'd simply replied that he hadn't thought so, but if tonight was any indication, apparently Mac needed to bridge some gaps in the relationship between them.

* * *

The elevator ride and the walk to the apartment was silent. Mac and Danny were both lost in their own separate worlds. It wasn't until after Mac made coffee for the two of them that Danny started to talk. 

"Look Mac, sorry a'bout earlier, I guess I was more tired then I thought. I just haven't been sleepin' well, you'know?"

"Something must be bothering you then, keeping you awake at night."

"Yeah, but it isn't somethin' I can talk a'bout you'know. Its just stupid."

"Danny, if it's important to you then it's not stupid. Try me, I just might be able to help."

"Not with this Mac, trust me. Let it alone, please."

"Danny, I know I can help. Please I'm your friend and I don't want you to deal with you problems alone."

Danny closed his eyes and willed away the tears that once again had formed. Mac's offer sounded genuine. He'd almost found himself agreeing, but he knew that Mac would never treat him the same, not if he knew the truth. Ether he'd avoid Danny or pity him, and Danny knew that he could never work with Mac like that.

Mac watched Danny's face carefully, looking for some kind of hint as to the nature of his problem. He saw Danny's eyes close and tighten, as if to hold in tears.

"Danny?" The man in question's head shot up as watery blue eyes met solid brown. "This doesn't have anything to do with Sonny or your past, right?"

For a moment Danny considered lying, saying yes, letting Mac believe that this was about Sonny. He knew that Mac would eventually drop it, thinking the problem was solved, and he would be very careful from then on. That was only one moment though, Mac had been nothing if not completely honest with Danny, and he didn't deserve to be lied to now.

"Nah Mac, its not about my past. Its-." Danny paused, he hated telling secrets, he didn't know how to begin

"Its what Danny?" Mac probed, attempting to help.

"I fell in love with someone who I know can't love me back. We see each other every day and they've never really shown any interest in me, you'know."

Mac was furious. Danny, his Danny, was in love with someone else, someone who had yet to acknowledge him. He'd been to afraid to fall in love again, and to lose someone he loved again, that he'd waited to long and lost any potential chance he ever may have had.

"I'm sorry Danny, is there anything I can do to help."

"Nah Mac, thanks for the offer though, but it looks pretty hopeless."

"Don't ever say that Danny. Don't ever give up hope on love. It can sneak up on you, take you by surprise, especially when your just about to give up."

"'Sounds like experience talkin'."

"It is. I was just getting ready to resign myself to a loveless life when I walked into work one day and just realized that love can come in very unexpected places."

"Stella or Aiden?"

"Neither, you?"

"Neither. Mac, who do you love?"

Mac groaned inwardly at Danny's blunt question. He didn't want to lie but he couldn't just tell Danny the truth. The younger man would be gone in less than sixty seconds, and Mac didn't, couldn't, imagine life without the energetic man. On the flip side, so to speak, if Danny knew maybe, just maybe, he might accept Mac and, hopefully, Danny might just want to stay friends.

Mac sighed and steeled his nerves. It was time to, as Claire used to say:

"Sit down, open up, take a chance, and take a ride."

"Danny, you're my friend, only a few people can ever say that, and that is important to me. I never ment to put you into this position, and for that I'm sorry, but if I had a choice know this: I wouldn't ever change a thing. I don't know when, or how, but I realized that I love you Danny."

Mac's hand found Danny's and Danny realized that Mac's hands were shaking. Danny moved to sit beside Mac on the sofa and picked up his other hand. He held them, one at a time, against his lips for a kiss. For a man who chattered incessantly in the labs, right now Danny couldn't think of a single thing to say other then:

"I love you too Mac."

All the rest came naturally.

FIN


End file.
